Minutiae, Part 1 : Eats

I’ve been told that, in the temporary absence of excitement (like, for example, spending Christmas scuba diving with dolphins in Mozambique), folks would like to know about the tinyish details of African life. While I’m as yet severely ignorant of the real Africa, I can share what I know of life in Gabs which, at times and in more than a few ways, seems an enclave of Europe in the heart of the poorest part of the world.

First up: Food

Natalie, my American roommate, observed last week “You know, years from now, I’m never going to tell anyone ‘Back in Botswana, I ate the best X’”.

I was hard pressed to disagree with her. The supermarkets here are well-stocked, nearly what we’re used to back home, and when bought with care the food is wholesome and healthy. But, I swear to Vishnu, it’s dull.

No doubt I’ve been spoiled by the multi-hued culinary paradise of Vancouver, but by any standards things are pretty bland in Botswana, as even the guidebooks warned me to expect. The best thing about eating here is that since Botswana is a substantial cattle producer, very good beef and other meats are dirt cheap. I eat steaks pretty regularly because they’re actually about the most inexpensive meal I can get, and tasty too – a nicely marinated T-bone costs a dollar or less. But, as I’m reluctantly discovering, man cannot live on steak alone.

The staple food is pap, a truly flavourless boiled corn meal that serves simply to add starch and substance to diets dependent on gigantic portions of beef. Spicing is nearly absent from any of the food except the chicken (more on that later), and buying snazzier stuff like curry sauce is prohibitively pricey. Here I can buy almost anything I’m used to back in the world, but since I’m on a tight budget and would rather spend my money on traveling (dang semi-paid internships), I’m restricted to straightforward meats and fresh veggies. Of course, this is pretty healthy stuff, so my taste buds and my Vancouver gut are vanishing in tandem.

The restaurant scene is a bit better, but still takes some adjusting. The most common fast food joints are KFC and innumerable South African burger chains (no McD’s, not that you’d miss it). The prices, converted to dollars, are about precisely what you’d pay back home. The taste is likewise about what you’d expect in North America, so I find it better to skip these places and head to the omnipresent Nando’s and its tastier cousin, Barcelo’s. These places lay on the peri-peri, the omnipresent East African chili, in lavish doses, an unsubtle but very welcome relief from the timidity of the rest of the food.

The sit-down joints are a step up in quality and price, of course. Most of the usual pillars of my diet, from Thai food to Chinese, are nearly mythical around here, though a small handful of very upmarket hotel restaurants specializes in these cuisines. Sushi is entirely absent, this being a landlocked country, and simple fish is in very short and costly supply at even the best supermarkets. There are several decent Indian and Italian joints, and a number of pubs making excellent pizza and bar food. These places are expensive even by Western standards, though, so my visits there are few and highly cherished.

So food-wise, it’ll be another four months of relative good health and staggering boredom. I’m looking forward to my hoped-for visit to Mozambique, where if rumour holds true the seafood is fresh, the menu varied and the spicing bold. It won’t come a minute too soon. It’ll surprise no one, I’m sure, to know that I think daily about a dozen different restaurants I’ll visit within days of my return to Vancouver. There are countless things I’ll miss when I’m no longer here – the novelty, the music, the animals… great mounds of boiled corn are not among them.